Leonard was having a horrible day. He’d been shown up at work repeatedly by this new guy the University had hired to head their research into string theory. He was a prodigy who Gablehauser had bragged they had been trying to woo to their side for years and he was finally here. Everyone had been excited for weeks waiting for this revolutionary mind to show up and teach them all something. All the people who even had a passing interest in the field had been passing around his published papers like they were teenage boys with their first skin mags. Then today he’d finally shown up and he was an anal retentive freak of nature. He spent the whole day re-arranging everything from his furniture in his office to the seating in the cafeteria and everything in between. Apparently everything had to be just so or he would have a full on meltdown. When Leonard had tried to score points with Leslie Winkle by making an offhand joke about their new colleague, said freak had verbally eviscerated him for one tiny mistake in the set up of the joke. The most humiliating part hadn’t even been that he’d done it in front of everyone, no the worst part was that he hadn’t even looked at him as he spoke.
Finally though he was home, where he was king of his own castle. Finally making it up the last flight of stairs he could hear strange noises coming from the landing. Taking a quick look back as he reached his door he expected to find his neighbor Louie/Louise unpacking another Amazon box. The man was obsessed with online ordering and seemed to get a new package every single day.
Instead what he found was a goddess. She was a beautiful blonde, the kind of girl that just had to have been a cheerleader in high school. She was wearing a light blue top with pink flowers on it that barely covered her toned belly and short denim shorts that hugged her ass. A vast improvement over the old neighbor. He wanted to go over and maybe invite her to his apartment for dinner after a long day of moving, but he knew he wouldn’t have the guts. A guy like him never got the girls that looked like that. They never-
“Excuse me, you are blocking my ingress to this floor.” Snapping back to reality he turned around to find his new colleague Doctor Sheldon Cooper standing behind him on the stairs. This could not be happening. First he humiliated him at work in front of Leslie and now he’d followed him home and was about to do the same thing again in front of his new crush across the hall.
What was he even doing there?
“Sheldon? Is that you?” God, even her voice was something straight out of a fantasy.
“Yes. I would already be within our new domicile with you but I find my way is being blocked by a slack jawed homunculus.” Taking a step back in horror he barely heard the quiet thank you that fell from his new neighbors lips as he breezed past him and into the arms of the woman he had been staring at.
“What’s a homunculus?” He turned back towards his door not wanting to hear his short stature explained so clinically to someone.
How? Why? Life usually wasn’t fair but sometimes it was downright baffling and he had to say that standing on the landing in front of his apartment watching the world’s most infantile man embrace the world’s hottest woman was baffling to the extreme.
Closing the door behind him he resigned himself to another night sitting on the couch alone eating takeout watching Babylon 5 again with the commentary track on. What could she possibly see in him? Didn’t she want a nice guy like him? He was just as smart as Sheldon, why couldn’t that be him?